Decluttering Blues


Yesterday I had a lie in.

This was my day.

5am to 845am

I forced myself to wake up at 845am. I felt like I was up from 5am coming in and out of sleep. Snoozing, going to the bathroom to relieve myself, silently praying, having a million ideas about my Business and then counselling myself to rest, relax and going back to bed, all this happened in these hours. Each time this is what I did: I reminded myself it is slow down Saturday, it is my day to relax and connect with myself and family.

As a Beat Burn Out Coach, I am more conscious of the internal battle within myself. This battle has one side urging me to go go go and the other softly saying slow slow slow. I listened to my gut and gently dozed off.

Beating burn out is an ongoing battle that rages within. It is an existential truth that if you are a workaholic, you will always be a workaholic. It is like any addiction, you got to be concious and be truthful to yourself primarily. You are your own worst enemy. As a Coach and a Beat Burn Out one at that I got to walk my talk. It is NEVER easy.

However being truthful to myself helps. I always try to remember my habits and the way I think, feel and react are based on beliefs that were built over a lifetime. These beliefs are going to take a lifetime to dismantle, destroy and be replaced with healthier beliefs. Some beliefs are easier to chip away and knock down. Some others are so deeply entrenched and unconscious that you have to be patient with yourself. The process involves tenacity.

845am to 930am

I got out of bed and got ready and did not look at my phone, like I usually do. On Slow Down Saturday I take a break from my Online Business. I made breakfast for my husband instead. I loved chopping onions, tomatoes, fresh mint from the garden and mushrooms, I did this all for the Omelette.

There is something AMAZING about picking fresh mint from the garden and smelling it and then using this herb in cooking. The smell can just wake you up. It has so much zest and panache. I love how mint wakes all the senses.

My husband usually makes breakfast for me on weekends. Yesterday I decided to treat him. I also made chickpeas and a peas and potatoes dish for my sons. If you haven’t worked it out yes, my eldest and middle sons are vegans.

If you haven’t worked it out too yes these days I love cooking. It is a way for me to nurture my family and be there for them.

However I have not always enjoyed cooking. In fact most of my life I hated it. I felt it was something I had to do. As a result, my cooking most of the time ended up tasteless, too salty, bland or burnt. Cooking was never a labour of love. I know why because I had not discovered my real labour of love. My Business which allows me to do what has always come so naturally to me, to coach and heal. My raison d’etre is to reach and heal Entrepreneurs and Professionals who are burnt out or at the verge of burn out.

Now because I know my raison d’etre, I no longer feel I have to cook. I cook because I want to. So usually the food tastes better. However as with anything if I am not focussed on the task as with Business, it turns out wrong. What you focus on, you bring your attention to and that brings energy. How you focus is the key! Positive focus brings positive energy and negative focus, negative energy!

930am to 11am

I stayed downstairs and just chatted to my husband and chatted to my son all about his residential trip. It was nice to catch up. My middle son joined us.

11am to 1230

I just pottered around the house clearing out drawers and recycling bits of paper that I no longer needed.

I also read a little not much but just having this permission to do what I want is so freeing. I love pottering around.

1230 to 2pm

For some reason decluttering always tires me out. It feels very cleansing but exhausts me. I lay down to snooze in my bed. All of a sudden, I felt so weary. My youngest asked if I would join him at his school summer fayre during my nap and I promised I would. I then closed my eyes and had the sweetest of sleeps.

2pm to 230pm

I forced myself up and prayed and got changed and walked to his school.

230pm to 315pm

I bought a veggie hot dog meal at the Fayre and wandered round the stalls. My son was very dismissive as to what the stalls had to offer and was uninterested in the toy prizes and seemed so bored regarding it all. I kept thinking they grow up so fast these kids. My youngest used to drag me to school summer fayres and keep asking me to spend money and now he is so dismissive of it. I wondered where all the time had gone? I knew though deep in my bones I had enjoyed all the summer fayres being with him. I had my youngest son at the age of 38 and for some reason enjoy playing with him, teaching him and accompanying him to events. I guess because unlike the other two, I stopped pretending to be the perfect mother when I gave birth to him. With my other two sons I never relaxed and it always felt a uphill struggle.

Soon my son, his friend and myself had run out of things to do at the fayre. So winning two coconuts, we went home.

315pm to 7pm

I sorted out some clothes, cooked some food, stuffed pepperd. I used all the left over food in the fridge. I enjoyed being there for my sons. I even watched some TV. The Voice Kids was on and I loved watching the cute children perform.

I thought about the Business but did not open my laptop.

Saturday is the day I do not focus on the Business.

I vowed instead to work hard on emailing and planning Facebook Lives on Sunday.

I vowed instead to read a book and listen to some Music.

7pm to 10pm

I served dinner and prayed and washed up the dishes and journalled.

I like journaling. It helps me connect to myself.

10pm I wrote some notes for an impromptu Facebook live I plan to do as I walk to the Cricket Green on Sunday

1030 I retire to bed, feeling very weary.

If anything in this blog has really resonated with you and you would like to discuss the subject further with Taniya privately then use this link.

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