June 28, 2019

Sacred Alliances

Today I started my day being fully clear as to who I want to impact with my Business.

I end the day in the same way.

The Personal Development Industry has many voices competing to attract the ears of a few. The few who think. reflect, question, search and want to grow.

The few who are tired of the same old, same old and are not seduced by the diet of Trash TV, the self- perpetuating Social Media narratives echoing the false reality of perfectionism.

The few who want to grow and feel the disease may be growing.

You who are the few are still few though.

And I know you are seeking desperately to be understood.

It is just you are heartbroken when you think that you found that Coach or Mentor or Counsellor or Therapist that understands you and that person lets you down.

You really admired them, their Professionalism. Perhaps you put them on a pedalstool and they turned out to be not that Professional.

It is devastating to be let down by those who are close to us but when it is someone who is trusted to help you, hold space for you then that is beyond a crime.

However it happens too often in the Personal Development Industry.

The Industry is currently booming and coming from a profession, Social Work where there is so much regulation, I wonder if regulation will come sooner rather than later.

Therapeutic alliances can be built up in coaching and mentoring relationships.

The alliance feels sacred.

You do not have to be religious to know that when sacred bonds are violated, certain wounds cannot be repaired.

To repair these wounds, I realise requires open soul surgery. It is like open heart surgery. It requires the skills of an experienced surgeon.

These last few days I am realising that is what I do.

That is my gift, my zone of genius performing open soul surgery.

I will tell you more about what this entails tomorrow.



Having qualified as a Social Worker in July 1991 from Coventry University, it has been over two decades that I have been on the front line working with children and young people who are traumatized and on the margins of society. Although I studied Psycho-dynamic counselling for two years at Goldsmiths College (1991-1993), I decided to integrate Psycho-dynamic theories and skills into my Social work practice and flirt with and immerse myself in studying Islam as well as interfaith dialogue and friendships. For the last 20 years, I have been working in a multi-disciplinary Youth Offending Team in South London, comprised of Professional colleagues from different faiths and cultural backgrounds trying to support young people in the criminal justice system. I am married and mother to three sons, and juggle Social Work and interfaith dialogue with my writing, studying and the needs of home and family.


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