July 20, 2020

Butterflies in the Stomach Chapter 8

Let me continue with Tamara’s story.

Tamara arrived at her house the house at 645pm. She remembers she looked at the car clock as she got out of the car and walked out onto the street.

She would live in that house for the next 8 years until she was 13 years old. It was a terraced house in Alma Road in the South London Borough of Wandsworth.

The street Tamara lived on until she was 13 years old.

Wandsworth was the Borough her father chose to rent a small house in with his friend Samir and his family living next door.

On the way from the airport to the house, Samir and Mr Alvi chatted happily in the car at the front. Mrs Alvi and Tamara and her brother sat in the back.

That was the way and is the way in Pakistani families between friends and wives, not all the time but most of the time.

Tamara recalls Samir Uncle as she came to address him kept insisting “Bhabi aap bayt ye ahge” in Urdu meaning “Sister in law why don’t you sit at the front.”

In Urdu Speaking families friends often refer to each other as brothers or sisters so your relatives become their relatives and between male friends their wives demand a respect if your friend is even a day older than you. In Urdu Speaking families the older brother is called Bhai or Bhaijaan dearest brother. Bhai literally meaning brother and Bhabi is brothers wife literally.

Mrs Alvi declined the offer, smiled and being the practical person she always was said in Urdu “Mein to bayt ja oun ghi magar fayda kya ho gha is liya mujh ko rasta to nahin maloom aap in ko dekh aa eh ghay, ye itna bhool te hai rasta” meaning “I would sit down but what’s the point in that as I don’t know the way and you do and he my husband always forgets the way.”

Samir and Mr Alvi laughed at this heartedly and Mr Alvi winked at his wife with Mrs Alvi blushing inside but still keeping the persona and demeanour on the outside of a royal regal lady as she stepped in the car.

Mrs Alvi loved wearing saris and putting on henna throughout Tamara’s childhood.

Tamara remembers how her mother tucked in her sari as she sat down next to her brother.

Tamara also remembers how her father kept looking at her mother in the windscreen mirror as their eyes would catch each other and Samir Uncle would catch them and say “Dost driving mein nazar rakh ho, Bhabi ye badla nahin abhee bhi ye khali khoobsoorat larkeyon par nazar dalta hai” meaning “Sister in law he hasn’t changed he is still into eyeing up beautiful girls.”

And each time Samir remarked in this way, Mrs Alvi would slap her husband from the back onto his shoulder.

Of course, Mrs Alvi knew he was talking about her and Mr Alvi knew that. Samir knew that and although Tamara felt the warmth of the humour, Tamara didn’t know that. Instead Tamara suddenly felt scared and her five year old brain took the words at face value. She didn’t say it but thought “Does that mean my father was eyeing up women in London while my mother was away?”

She could not shake this thought off all through the journey from the airport to the house and with it she could not shake off the butterflies and anxiety that she housed from that day on in her stomach.

The butterflies in Tamara’s stomach

If anything in this blog has really resonated with you and you would like to discuss the subject further with Taniya privately then use this link.



Taniya Hussain qualified as a Social Worker in 1991 from Coventry University in England. She has been working on the front lines, consistently holding space for individuals and families for three decades especially, children and young people on the margins of society. Taniya studied Psycho-dynamic counselling from 1991 to 1993 at Goldsmiths College in London. Taniya met Sheikha Halima Krausen in 1992 and has been studying Islam with her ever since especially Mystical Islam, Tassawuf (Sufism) and walks on the Chisti path. Taniya really started using the power of Jungian Pyschology and Mystical Islam when she started her Online Coaching and Consultancy Business in 2018 and discovered she was a powerful healer. When she discovered Shadow Alchemy in 2019, she started developing this modality into Muslim Alchemy in 2020. She now brands herself as the Muslim Alchemist because she is constantly integrating her knowledge of the Quran and Bible with her vast Social Work experience and her extensive ability of applying Psycho-dynamic, therapeutic techniques to organisational settings, team dynamics and when working with individuals and groups. This has both Online and Offline. Taniya uses skillfully her understanding of the Shadow, that Jung constantly talked about and her Mystical Training plus her experience in inter-faith dialogue since 2003, to help individuals and groups become conscious of what they previously were unconscious of leading to rapid success in their Business, Health and Relationships. Taniya has a great skill in being able to see the blind spots in others and in untanging energetic knots (a term she uses for Shadow) to promote healing from mental and physical disease. She uses her vast expertise and skills to help her Online Clients to get rid of decades of anxiety causing insomnia, depression and suicidal thoughts and marital problems. Clients usually are healed in a short amount of time never needing to invest in Therapy again. She really is the Muslim Alchemist as she turns the shitty experience of clients into golden experiences where they manifest upgraded, wealth, health and relationships all at the same time. Taniya got married in 1995 and has three sons born in 1996, 2001 and 2003 and lives in Surrey, England and when she is not developing Muslim Alchemy, she loves to spend time with her family and write fiction stories, songs and poems. She speaks fluent English and Urdu and basic German and French and is learning Arabic and Hebrew.


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