I mentioned in a previous blog that the process of acceptance is active not passive. Of course those of you who are intimate with adversity know acceptance in these cases can never be a passive resignation to the situation and neither is the process linear. Our minds are biologically trained when faced with adversity or trauma to either fight, flee or freeze. Even freezing requires effort and energy.
There are also two other responses that humans have to trauma which are not commonly known; floating and frolicking.
I will talk about these another day. For now I want to focus on fighting, flight and freezing,
I know many people freeze when they face adversity or trauma! Shock freezes them! I know many people want to run away from a difficult situation. It is not surprising that minds are hard wired to escape from what is distressing! I know I want to fight against difficult situations!
Fighting can occur in many forms! Trying to change the situation by acting against it like for instance in terms of gun and knife-crime by accepting the epidemic exists intellectually but networking with others who work on the ground to look at solutions. I know you, like me when struggling with so much often only have your voice and your words to fight with and there are times that even they have difficulty in coming out or making any sense. I know some of you fight with a fire in your heart hating the situation especially if abuse or oppression is occurring!
There is also a fire in your heart when you have been violated, whether that is your trust or your body! There is that fighting spirit that you find is rekindled in your soul when you cannot accept a loved one’s death or illness! I know I find I am so angry with God when I face adversity.
As a Trauma Recovery Coach, I find this fighting with God actually heals me and leads me to acceptance of difficult events or tragedy. This permission I give myself to argue and express my rage with God has been my saving Grace!
I find many people are denied this saving Grace. Perhaps like me, you grew up in a family where God was never questioned. His will was never questioned. I find having environments like this, when you cannot be honest and open with yourself about God, results in barriers being erected to acceptance, healing gets delayed. I know in my life my constantly questioning why things were a certain way, prevented me from drowning in depths of depression.
At the same time, over the years, I have also learned that sometimes I have no control over events and even my feelings!
Although I have been angry with God during adversity, I have found these feelings subside to be replaced by calmness and serenity. I know acceptance involves, being open to the possibilities that your feelings and thoughts may change regarding situations!
Acceptance for me during adversity has involved me feeling the wide spectrum of emotions. There is bitterness, rage, guilt and there are all the other emotions which are too numerous to mention.
Acceptance can be a slow process or a fast process! All I know acceptance is “feeling the feel” as Richard Grannon the UK based, Coach says because alot of us are used to just feeling in our heads!
Acceptance for me is your gut feeling the situation!
Acceptance is your soul healing you! Acceptance is affirmation!
Acceptance is peace and tranquillity!
Acceptance is the sweet silence of serenity!
During adversity, especially in the midst of trauma and tragedy, when I have experienced an event, I have also accepted myself for who I am, a human being with limitations and immense gifts!
Acceptance of difficult situations in my life, has enabled me to start claiming who I am! I hope to start a new series of blogs on the process of claiming yourself.
As a Trauma Recovery Coach, I find this claiming is the key to healing fractured souls. I know when you have experienced trauma you do not have a sense of self and you find it so difficult to feel. I hope to detail this process for you soon like I have detailed the process of acceptance.
If you have found this series helpful and want to know more about how to recover from trauma, then please schedule a call with me by clicking below!
Taniya Hussain qualified as a Social Worker in 1991 from Coventry University in England, UK. She has been working on the front lines in London UK, consistently holding space for individuals and families in chaos and crisis for three decades especially, children and young people on the margins of society. Taniya studied Psycho-dynamic counselling from 1991 to 1993 at Goldsmiths College in London. Taniya met Sheikha Halima Krausen in 1992 and has been studying Islam with her ever since especially Mystical Islam, Tassawuf (Sufism) and walks on the Chisti path. Taniya fuses Jungian Pyschology and Islamic Psychology and this fusion can best be understood if you read her book Dancing with Darkness which is available on Amazon. It became a Best Seller on Amazon in the UK, U.S and France in April 2025. The book tells the story of Tamara Alvi, a fictional charachter and is a psychological thriller and a story of healing. Taniya started her coaching and consulting business in January 2018 and she works mainly with High Achievers and High Performers and High Performing Leaders, offering reflective spaces since 2018 and what she refers to as THE REFLECTIVE SPACE. Taniya since starting her busines discovered that she is a powerful healer and was shocked that clients were relieved from pain even though they have been diagnosed with a chronic illness. Taniya is delighted to have discovered Paceology, which is the detailed study of PACE. She is the first paceologist. She noticed when working with high performers when you slow down in one area of your life, this causes you to speed up in another area and vice cersa thus leading to increased levels of productivity, creativity, clarity and energy. She brands herself as the Muslim Alchemist because she really is The Muslim Alchemist as she guides you to transfom the base, in other words the shit that you have experienced into GOLD whether that is love of yourself or God or another human being or a healthier body or a life where you feel at peace and calm and fulfilled or more energy or more money. You definintely will feel lighter, more freer and more clearer even if you book one consultation with her or several sessions.
Taniya has a very holistic approach when working with individuals and works with you on multiple layers, the emotional, the psychological, the social, the physical, the mental and the spriritual. She uses stories from the Quran and the Bible when working with clients on a one to one basis or in group workshops as well as breathwork, body scanning, cognitive behavioural therapy, neuro linguistic programming, motivational interviewing. systems theory, neuro science. She is trained in multiple modalities as well as using her own Paceology and insists on offering her clients a trauma informed and trauma responsive service.
She is constantly integrating her knowledge of the Quran and Bible with her vast social work experience and training. Taniya's extensive ability of applying psycho-dynamic theory to organisational settings, teams and groups as well as to individuals results in those who attend her sessions or workshops as feeling lighter and more energised. Taniya uses skillfully her understanding of the Shadow, that Jung constantly talked about and her Mystical Training. She also has integrated her passion for inter-faith dialogue and the archetypes that Jung often refers to, come alive in her one to one sessions and her group workshops thus resulting in individuals feeling more freer and fulfilled after they stop working with her. Taniya just does not provide clarity she WAKES you up to. Taniya has a great skill in being able to see the blind spots in others and does this in a non judgemental way and a way that you feel safe. She also "untangles energetic knots" (a term she uses for Shadow) in your body to promote healing from mental and physical disease. Clients usually are healed in a short amount of time because she pinpoints the memory, the event, the thought that first caused the disease. She also provides one to one sessios or training workshops to social work teams, school, secure and prison estate on youth justice, knife crime prevention as well asidentification and prevention of early onset of burnout.
Taniya has three sons, who were born in 1996, 2001 and 200 and lives in Surrey, England and when she is not coaching or writing songs, blogs and poems, she loves to spend time, travelling, walking, listening to music, watching films or playing cricket.
She speaks fluent English and Urdu and basic German and French and is learning Arabic and Hebrew.
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