June 20, 2019

Yesterday rewritten!

I am tired as I write this but am so relieved that I was so focussed yesterday.

I managed to make some headway with the Court report due on Tuesday next week.

I survived my up and down emotional state.

Yesterday though I was focussed and using the skills of being focussed which I have acquired when being an Entrepreneur, I was successful in my job as a Social Worker.

I allowed myself to feel.

I felt the resentment rise in me that things seemed to return to being normal.

I felt my irritation that the team meeting did not really address the incident.

I also felt relieved that it wasn’t mentioned too.

I couldn’t cry anymore.

I felt I had no more tears to shed.

I also wanted to get on with my work.

I was relieved when my Supervision meeting was cancelled and I get the time to focus on the Court report.

I decide to focus on nothing else.

I ended up having a productive afternoon and managed to leave the office at 5pm.

I took the bus to my counselling session.

I arrive at 555pm and share my story of shock, horror and pain regarding my former Client’s murder.

I share the song I have written on my way to the session.

It is a version, my version of yesterday, the Beatles song.

In fact I sung it to my Counsellor.

The song really conveys the emotions of my journey of me transitioning from an Employee to becoming an Entrepreneur.

I use the session to explore the thoughts and feelings I have regarding the murder and what it triggers for me personally.

I am able to connect to some deep unresolved questions and feelings.

I leave my Counsellor at 650pm and walk home.

I arrive home and sit with my family for 30 minutes.

It is an uneasy time.

I suddenly feel tired and irritated by normalcy.

There is conversation about normal stuff.

My three days this week have not been normal though.

I get cross with my eldest son.

I realise I am emotionally very fragile and I am relieved that I am being kind to myself and not pushing myself with the Business in the evenings and focussing instead on what generates results i.e. preserving my energy and my space. The business cannot thrive without me and if I am not thriving there is no future with the Business. It will become a job and not a labour of love.

I want to impact people, the money is a side effect.

However to generate revenue, I need Clients and that is how I impact people the whole raison d’etre for the Business is to impact people.

I cannot impact anybody being emotionally, mentally and physically and spiritually exhausted.

I retire early to bed at 1045am.

I instinctively know I need to rest.

I switch the light off at 1055pm.

I realise today has given me perspective, clarity and focus.

I lay down feeling hurt at my loss, at a loss of a young man that was just starting in life.

I close my eyes feeling peace that in his life, I helped him and he knew I was there for him.

I close my eyes at peace for all I do have, a loving husband, three gorgeous sons, a home, a job and a growing business.

I swallow my own advice, to see the glass half full not half empty.

I feel the glass half full, no serenity is pouring over, the cup is over flowing.

If anything in this blog has really resonated with you and you would like to discuss the subject further with Taniya privately then use this link.




Taniya Hussain qualified as a Social Worker in 1991 from Coventry University in England. She has been working on the front lines, consistently holding space for individuals and families for three decades especially, children and young people on the margins of society. Taniya studied Psycho-dynamic counselling from 1991 to 1993 at Goldsmiths College in London. Taniya met Sheikha Halima Krausen in 1992 and has been studying Islam with her ever since especially Mystical Islam, Tassawuf (Sufism) and walks on the Chisti path. Taniya really started using the power of Jungian Pyschology and Mystical Islam when she started her Online Coaching and Consultancy Business in 2018 and discovered she was a powerful healer. When she discovered Shadow Alchemy in 2019, she started developing this modality into Muslim Alchemy in 2020. She now brands herself as the Muslim Alchemist because she is constantly integrating her knowledge of the Quran and Bible with her vast Social Work experience and her extensive ability of applying Psycho-dynamic, therapeutic techniques to organisational settings, team dynamics and when working with individuals and groups. This has both Online and Offline. Taniya uses skillfully her understanding of the Shadow, that Jung constantly talked about and her Mystical Training plus her experience in inter-faith dialogue since 2003, to help individuals and groups become conscious of what they previously were unconscious of leading to rapid success in their Business, Health and Relationships. Taniya has a great skill in being able to see the blind spots in others and in untanging energetic knots (a term she uses for Shadow) to promote healing from mental and physical disease. She uses her vast expertise and skills to help her Online Clients to get rid of decades of anxiety causing insomnia, depression and suicidal thoughts and marital problems. Clients usually are healed in a short amount of time never needing to invest in Therapy again. She really is the Muslim Alchemist as she turns the shitty experience of clients into golden experiences where they manifest upgraded, wealth, health and relationships all at the same time. Taniya got married in 1995 and has three sons born in 1996, 2001 and 2003 and lives in Surrey, England and when she is not developing Muslim Alchemy, she loves to spend time with her family and write fiction stories, songs and poems. She speaks fluent English and Urdu and basic German and French and is learning Arabic and Hebrew.


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