June 20, 2019

Yesterday rewritten!

I am tired as I write this but am so relieved that I was so focussed yesterday.

I managed to make some headway with the Court report due on Tuesday next week.

I survived my up and down emotional state.

Yesterday though I was focussed and using the skills of being focussed which I have acquired when being an Entrepreneur, I was successful in my job as a Social Worker.

I allowed myself to feel.

I felt the resentment rise in me that things seemed to return to being normal.

I felt my irritation that the team meeting did not really address the incident.

I also felt relieved that it wasn’t mentioned too.

I couldn’t cry anymore.

I felt I had no more tears to shed.

I also wanted to get on with my work.

I was relieved when my Supervision meeting was cancelled and I get the time to focus on the Court report.

I decide to focus on nothing else.

I ended up having a productive afternoon and managed to leave the office at 5pm.

I took the bus to my counselling session.

I arrive at 555pm and share my story of shock, horror and pain regarding my former Client’s murder.

I share the song I have written on my way to the session.

It is a version, my version of yesterday, the Beatles song.

In fact I sung it to my Counsellor.

The song really conveys the emotions of my journey of me transitioning from an Employee to becoming an Entrepreneur.

I use the session to explore the thoughts and feelings I have regarding the murder and what it triggers for me personally.

I am able to connect to some deep unresolved questions and feelings.

I leave my Counsellor at 650pm and walk home.

I arrive home and sit with my family for 30 minutes.

It is an uneasy time.

I suddenly feel tired and irritated by normalcy.

There is conversation about normal stuff.

My three days this week have not been normal though.

I get cross with my eldest son.

I realise I am emotionally very fragile and I am relieved that I am being kind to myself and not pushing myself with the Business in the evenings and focussing instead on what generates results i.e. preserving my energy and my space. The business cannot thrive without me and if I am not thriving there is no future with the Business. It will become a job and not a labour of love.

I want to impact people, the money is a side effect.

However to generate revenue, I need Clients and that is how I impact people the whole raison d’etre for the Business is to impact people.

I cannot impact anybody being emotionally, mentally and physically and spiritually exhausted.

I retire early to bed at 1045am.

I instinctively know I need to rest.

I switch the light off at 1055pm.

I realise today has given me perspective, clarity and focus.

I lay down feeling hurt at my loss, at a loss of a young man that was just starting in life.

I close my eyes feeling peace that in his life, I helped him and he knew I was there for him.

I close my eyes at peace for all I do have, a loving husband, three gorgeous sons, a home, a job and a growing business.

I swallow my own advice, to see the glass half full not half empty.

I feel the glass half full, no serenity is pouring over, the cup is over flowing.

If anything in this blog has really resonated with you and you would like to discuss the subject further with Taniya privately then use this link.

https://calendly.com/contact-3453/15min

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taniyahussain34

Taniya Hussain qualified as a Social Worker in 1991 from Coventry University in England, UK. She has been working on the front lines in London UK, consistently holding space for individuals and families in chaos and crisis for three decades especially, children and young people on the margins of society. Taniya studied Psycho-dynamic counselling from 1991 to 1993 at Goldsmiths College in London. Taniya met Sheikha Halima Krausen in 1992 and has been studying Islam with her ever since especially Mystical Islam, Tassawuf (Sufism) and walks on the Chisti path. Taniya fuses Jungian Pyschology and Islamic Psychology and this fusion can best be understood if you read her book Dancing with Darkness which is available on Amazon. It became a Best Seller on Amazon in the UK, U.S and France in April 2025. The book tells the story of Tamara Alvi, a fictional charachter and is a psychological thriller and a story of healing. Taniya started her coaching and consulting business in January 2018 and she works mainly with High Achievers and High Performers and High Performing Leaders, offering reflective spaces since 2018 and what she refers to as THE REFLECTIVE SPACE. Taniya since starting her busines discovered that she is a powerful healer and was shocked that clients were relieved from pain even though they have been diagnosed with a chronic illness. Taniya is delighted to have discovered Paceology, which is the detailed study of PACE. She is the first paceologist. She noticed when working with high performers when you slow down in one area of your life, this causes you to speed up in another area and vice cersa thus leading to increased levels of productivity, creativity, clarity and energy. She brands herself as the Muslim Alchemist because she really is The Muslim Alchemist as she guides you to transfom the base, in other words the shit that you have experienced into GOLD whether that is love of yourself or God or another human being or a healthier body or a life where you feel at peace and calm and fulfilled or more energy or more money. You definintely will feel lighter, more freer and more clearer even if you book one consultation with her or several sessions. Taniya has a very holistic approach when working with individuals and works with you on multiple layers, the emotional, the psychological, the social, the physical, the mental and the spriritual. She uses stories from the Quran and the Bible when working with clients on a one to one basis or in group workshops as well as breathwork, body scanning, cognitive behavioural therapy, neuro linguistic programming, motivational interviewing. systems theory, neuro science. She is trained in multiple modalities as well as using her own Paceology and insists on offering her clients a trauma informed and trauma responsive service. She is constantly integrating her knowledge of the Quran and Bible with her vast social work experience and training. Taniya's extensive ability of applying psycho-dynamic theory to organisational settings, teams and groups as well as to individuals results in those who attend her sessions or workshops as feeling lighter and more energised. Taniya uses skillfully her understanding of the Shadow, that Jung constantly talked about and her Mystical Training. She also has integrated her passion for inter-faith dialogue and the archetypes that Jung often refers to, come alive in her one to one sessions and her group workshops thus resulting in individuals feeling more freer and fulfilled after they stop working with her. Taniya just does not provide clarity she WAKES you up to. Taniya has a great skill in being able to see the blind spots in others and does this in a non judgemental way and a way that you feel safe. She also "untangles energetic knots" (a term she uses for Shadow) in your body to promote healing from mental and physical disease. Clients usually are healed in a short amount of time because she pinpoints the memory, the event, the thought that first caused the disease. She also provides one to one sessios or training workshops to social work teams, school, secure and prison estate on youth justice, knife crime prevention as well asidentification and prevention of early onset of burnout. Taniya has three sons, who were born in 1996, 2001 and 200 and lives in Surrey, England and when she is not coaching or writing songs, blogs and poems, she loves to spend time, travelling, walking, listening to music, watching films or playing cricket. She speaks fluent English and Urdu and basic German and French and is learning Arabic and Hebrew.

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