Towards the end of December it being for most individuals whatever your religion is or whether you celebrate Christmas or not, a time for relaxation, rejuvenation and reflection! This is because for most it is the last month of the year.

Well it is for most entrepreneurs and leaders  and professionals except for us high performers and high achievers.

Yes we innovators yearn for this break to relax and rejuvenate and reflect from our usual responsibilities. However we find it difficult to take that break. This is because we have DEMANDING schedules which do not allow us to have the opportunity to recharge and spend quality time with family and friends.

These demanding schedules often result in our family life feeling like chaos.

This article aims to provide valuable insights and practical advice for you as a parent who is an innovative leader but who also strives to create a stable, nurturing, and harmonious family environment amidst the challenges of modern life.

Uncover effective methods for fostering stability and harmony in your family life even in the month of December. Explore parenting tips and insights on creating a nurturing, structured environment for your children amidst what feels like chaos in the weeks leading to and during Christmas.

Introduction

In today’s whirlwind of what children demand during Christmas and what they expect to happen during Christmas,  parents often find themselves navigating through this sea of chaos stemming from these demands and expectations.But despite what feel like endless chaos, there is hope that there can be rest and relaxation and the opportunity to be rejuvenated.

The Modern Parenting Dilemma

With technology changing so fast it feels that our children know about the latest gadget or app before we do and that dreaded smartphone or tablet seems to be the cause of most of the arguments in the house especially at meal times. Whenever you want to relax and be with your child or partner, they are on their digital devices instead of talking to you or wanting to be with you. They then give you that look well now you know how we feel when you choose your work over us. Whilst the complexities of parenting in our fast-paced era are many, you know that addressing the common stressors and disruptions that high achievers like us have is simple and easy.  It is our fast paced life and our multiple projects and our addiction to our work and our personal development addiction that is the main cause of stress and disruption to our family life.

Recognizing Signs of Chaos in Family Life

There are the usual signs of children bedwetting or not sleeping or eating properly or eating too much or poor performance at school or violent behavior at school that mirror the emotional chaos at home. When life at home is turbulent then behaviour  outside home can become turbulent.

Establishing a Foundation of Stability

I have found that when you as a parent focus on your children wholeheartedly when you are at home and are present to them not by just being physically present but by being emotionally present and psychologically present this provides a stable foundation for them.

This stable foundation then becomes a  buffer for your children and teenager then the aggressive behaviour at school or the bed wetting decreases. Sometimes what is making you anxious is making them anxious. The less anxious you are the less anxious your child or teenager will be. Of course most of us are not conscious of how anxious we are. When you see bedwetting or verbal or physical violence or signs of self harm or long periods of silent behaviour see this as a red flag. Take some action to find out what is going on. Talk to your child’s teacher.

And when you are consistently present in this way and can embed a consistent routine by having clear boundaries between your work and family life this means that the child has a road map that they can rely on. They will start to feel secure within and this will results in your children having less demands and impossible expectations of you leading up to Christmas. Usually children want the attention of parents, not material objects. I know you know this the rest of the year but during Christmas you forget this in keeping up with the Jones’s 

Perhaps this Christmas play more board games and card games rather than be passive and watch a movie together? Rest and Rejuvenation can be achieved via an active activity much more than a passive activity.

Effective Communication this December 

The Spiritual Alchemy Quest which I write about a lot, many think is very Spiritual.This Quest is actually a set of four journeys that result in you experiencing MULTIPLE and RAPID Transformations in other words best summed up as your life transforms  from a successful one to a fulfilled one. The Quest is actually very practical and one of the journeys is called the practical alchemy journey.

Why don’t you this December take yourself and your family on this journey. Don’t worry you don’t need to take a plane to do this journey. All you need is a sense of adventure and a willingness to tick off all that is on your bucket list and you can do this not in your old age but right now.

When you engage in activities that make you glow WITH  the children and partner you love then you start enjoying life to its fullest instead of putting off festive fun why don’t you do it NOW. This Christmas I want you to connect to your inner child the one that saw the MAGIC of snow or the Christmas lights or heard it when you heard Christmas carols. You can become  a child this Christmas and then you can really understand what your child is thinking and feeling. You will arrive at a deeper understanding of your children’s needs and emotions by connecting to your inner child. This is bound to lead to a FUN Christmas full of JOY instead of the usual arguments about which movie to watch.

Balancing Discipline and Nurturance

Whilst you have been accused of being the disciplinarian in the past or the killjoy perhaps this December you can become the FUN parent and you can explore the different activities that light you up. Even if you are the one that cooks the Christmas lunch  perhaps you can include your children in the preparation of the meal. Perhaps you can do it with your partner rather than excluding your partner from the kitchen and resenting the task.

You see establishing healthy boundaries and clear boundaries and flexible boundaries during what can be a stressful time really helps.

Christmas whether you celebrate it or not, brings families together because it is a public holiday so having some time by yourself and with loved ones AWAY from your work may be the medicine you are reluctant to administer due to your workaholism.

But if you are becoming aware of the damage your workaholism is having, maybe this December is the time to make the adjustment.

The Role of Self-Care in Parenting

Spending time with loved ones is one of the best forms of self-care and can make parenting easier especially when you hang out with other parents. The information shared from one generation to another is priceless. You see Self-care is not a lone activity it is social in it’s nature too. Children also benefit from adults outside the nuclear family. Isolation in the western world is one of the causes of stress and leads to low performance.

Involving Children in Family Decisions

We have discussed above the benefits of empowering children by involving them in preparing and cooking the Christmas meal and now you can think of involving them in other suitable family decisions. This fosters a sense of responsibility within them and belonging within the family unit.

Seeking External Support When Needed

Having been a social worker for thirty years myself, I have seen the sad and tragic consequences when parents have denied issues with their children and within themselves.

You can try to solve issues by yourself or with the assistance of loved ones but some issues are complex and need the eye of a qualified and experienced professional. If you know your fast paced life has had a cumulative effect on your children and teenagers or even adult children planting the seeds of workaholism within them, then act on this awareness and book a consultation with me. If I cannot help you I will point you to an organisation or resource that can. 

Conclusion

To adapt to the ever-changing dynamics of modern life it is important to be present when with your children and to include them in central family activities and to connect with your inner child to experience the MAGIC of Christmas. Once you do this month you can continue the practice throughout the year to experience the MAGIC of life.

FAQs

1. Identifying Chaos: Methods for parents to discern the behaviour from their children and teenagers that indicates internal chaos. 
2. Stability Routines: Daily routines that can help stabilize a child’s life.
3. Discipline vs. Love: Sometimes not being the disciplinarian can be very loving. Once a year to be fully immersed in activities with your child can really make it easier to do throughout the year. 
4. Parent Self-Care: The importance of parent self-care being spending time with your own parents or other parents in sustaining a stable family environment.
5. Seeking Help: Knowing when to seek external support or counseling for your children or family issues.