There is a verse in the Bible and there is a verse in the Qur’an which goes something like this. If you save one soul, it is like you saved the whole of humanity and if you kill one soul it is like you killed the whole of humanity.

There is so much TRUTH to this. As a social worker working in London UK for three decades I know this and as an online coach and consultant since 2018, I know this. When you serve even one client that has a ripple effect. Like a pebble being dropped in a river. You see the ripples. You change the life of one individual, the lives of the individual’s friends and family are changed and this then affects the communities that the individual interacts with. Do you see the ripple effect?

I think of Asma* this client I worked with that to me really perfectly captures the ripple effect that occurs when you hire a coach. If you were looking into her life from the outside, you would see that she had such a successful life. It looked like she had it all when I first met her on Zoom in January 2019. She was married. She still is by the way. She has a very high paying job in I.T working for one of the top I.T companies in the world. She lives in a lovely house in California. She has parents both living nearby. She has close friends, ok, they live in other states but she is regularly in touch with them. One is a social worker. I know because she sent this social work friend Golnar* to work with me several months later in December 2019.

Asma* has a teenage daughter and a son who is autistic but she secured the necessary assistance for him from the local health provider when she started working with me and he was doing well in school then and still is doing well in school. Soon he will be a teenager. She has a brother who lives nearby with his family and she gets on with her sisters each who live in different states in the U.S. She also coaches fellow employees in her I.T company. This is her life in 2024 and it was her life in January 2019 when she booked a clarity call with me on Zoom. So to an outsider, Asma* had this successful life of a high performing leader which she is. She was and still is managing to juggle all the different responsibilities of running a house, a home, a family and also being an I.T professional and building her career.

Asma* also has now and had then a generous heart and this was illustrated by the fact that she had no reservations of living with her parents in law. Asma* is like me born in Pakistan and then as a child lived and grew up in the West. In Pakistani culture it is usually the case that three generations live under one roof.  Of course that doesn’t mean that it is easy and smooth running. Pakistani TV dramas are a testament that it is not. Yet Asma* chose to live with her parents in law.

Well even before Asma* appeared on the Zoom call in January 2019,  I discovered from the form she filled in before the call that although she chose to live with her parents in law, she found the circumstances difficult. In the form, she said she needed strategies to cope with her mother in law who she labelled as a narcissist and she labelled herself as an empath.

We all know while these terms are useful in some situations and family contexts and there is a psychiatric diagnosis called Narcissist Personality Disorder, very few individuals are diagnosed as such… in some circumstances and contexts, they are not. We also know that we all have traits of narcissism within us and all of us to some extent are empathetic. We also know that to label individuals in this binary way can become problematic. Human beings are complicated creatures and it is too simplistic to separate them as either good or bad. The truth of the matter is human beings are good, bad and ugly and different shades all at the same time. Also most of us know we have all  these traits within us and to accept that. Would you agree that exploring inwards helps us to be more understanding of ourselves and each other? Would you agree that labelling and blaming just leads to us being locked in a drama triangle? The drama triangle by the way was formed by Kaplan. You can Google it. It is a really useful way of understanding relationships. Most of us are unconscious that we are locked in a drama triangle. Each of us takes turns to play a different role in the triangle. The roles in the triangle are victim, persecutor and rescuer. Most of us spend our lives being locked in the drama that is created by playing three different roles. It is only when we become conscious that we are locked in the triangle that we can choose to step out of it and really live our lives in freedom instead of being caged by the drama.

Whether Asma* was caught in a drama triangle, I did not speculate and I didn’t ask her. I also did not dismiss Asma’s analysis of her situation when she appeared on the clarity call. I did, however ask her questions in order  to dig deeper into what was going on between her and her mother in law.

That is the difference between me and so many other coaches. I ask many questions on the call regarding the current challenges and the reason for that comes from being a social worker for over thirty years. You see I don’t just look at the presenting problem. The presenting problem is the client’s understanding of the problem and although of course this understanding is valid and should not be invalidated, in my three decades of experience of working with children, young people and parents and professionals, the presenting problem is not the actual problem. Usually the problem is actually something altogether entirely different and the client cannot see that. The client has blind spots in relation to their current challenges and what is causing them.

That is why hiring a coach that is experienced and has worked with thousands of cases is useful because there is more likelihood of uncovering the actual problem. When you uncover the actual problem it is then very easy to facilitate rapid and lasting transformations with the client. That is why I call myself a Transformation Coach and deliver Transformational Coaching. That is why I call myself The Muslim Alchemist because I uncover the GOLD buried underneath all the shit. The Gold usually is the actual problem. When you know the actual problem it is easy to find the solution. Problems and Solutions go together. It’s like Ying and Yang. Pair the problem with the solution and the transformation is easy to secure.

Many coaches though think the the presenting problem is the Point A that the client is saying that they are at. And because these coaches do not have the experience, I have, having worked with thousands of cases where there is trauma and also complex trauma, they take the client and guide the client to point B. Due to their lack of experience, they do not understand why there is usually resistance from the client during the coaching process period and they don’t understand why the client fails to reach point B despite their best efforts.  Both the client and the coach are at worst at logger heads, one firing the other or at best the client feels they reached point B and there is an amicable separation or ending. The client though may have left the coaching relationship amicably but is really disturbed and disappointed and hugely dissatisfied when they discover they still have the same problem.

That’s why I am able to deliver rapid and lasting transformations because I dig deep and excavate from the client what the actual problem is. When you know what the actual problem is, the underlying problem, as we social workers call it, then it is easy to find the solution or solutions to the problem. And like I said this leads to the rapid and lasting transformations.

Of course having been trained and having used multiple modalities as a social worker and also when I did volunteer counselling for Muslim women, this is also the reason why I am able to facilitate the rapid and lasting transformations.

I am like a skilled surgeon who uses different tools in the energetic surgery that is required to facilitate a transformation. The different tools I use when working with clients are cognitive behavioural therapy, narrative therapy, neuro linguistic programming, Jungian Psychology, Islamic Psychology, Transactional Analysis, Quaranic and Biblical stories, Breathwork, Energy Healing and my own modality PACEOLOGY.

The surgery I am referring to is the releasing of energy which is the unexpressed thoughts and feelings that are usually lodged in a particular part of the body and become this untangled knot. This untangled knot can develop into cancer or some other disease.

And that is why I am able to facilitate these rapid and lasting transformations because I don’t start at Point A that the client thinks they are at. I start at the  Point -1 or Point -1000 that the client is exactly at. Because to get to point A where the client thinks they are at you need to establish where they are exactly at. This will facilitate the client to reach Point B where they want to reach.

Asma* was at point -1000. Yes she was aware of some of her problems and she was aware that she wanted to reach Point B i.e wanting to have a marriage where she felt fulfilled and a family life where she felt fulfilled and not a life where she felt so burnt out. Asma didn’t have a very healthy work-life balance and at some level she knew she wanted to beat burn out. That is why she signed onto the summit that I prepared, launched and hosted called Beat Burn Out. The Summit gave her a name to her symptoms that she was feeling which were a mixture of depression and overwhelm. However she didn’t know why.

So I dug deep into the relationship with her mother in law. By asking her a few questions, I discovered in this clarity call although her mother in law was being selfish and yes to many behaving in a narcissistic fashion, Asma* herself was not being very assertive. Whilst her mother in law was being passive aggressive, Asma* herself was not voicing her anger, her frustration regarding this to her mother in law. I  also discovered in the clarity call there was no gas lighting occurring in their relationship.

I put to Asma* what appeared to be the problem was perhaps that there was a difficulty on Asma’s part to express her real thoughts and feelings to her mother in law. I put to her that perhaps together she and myself could find out why and I could give her strategies on how to express her thoughts and feelings.

Asma* agreed that she would like to work with me and signed onto the laser coaching program that I still offer clients. She is busy and like most over-achieving professionals and high performing leaders, tight for time. I said the sessions would be 15 minutes to 30 minutes at a time and she secured my support for 12 months.

I didn’t know that her signing up to my laser coaching program would result in 18 months later, not just her life drastically changing but also her husband’s, her son’s, her daughter’s, her mother in law’s, her father in law’s, her parents, her sisters, her friends.

The truth of the matter is that Asma* could not really express her true feelings and thoughts about how she felt about nearly every relationship she had.

She was in early childhood not encouraged to express this being the youngest child in her family. Often her thoughts and feelings were ridiculed by her parents and siblings. Then she was bullied at school. She arrived in California from Pakistan as a teenager and felt she had to fit in to have friends. She decided at a very young age to hide her true feelings and thoughts. This continued in her teenage years and adult years right into married life.

Asma also saw that on the occasions she actually did express her true feelings and thoughts, all hell would break loose with  her relationship with her husband. That was how it felt with her. He did not want any conflict and was actually blind to how she was feeling. This was because she was not sharing the real thoughts and feelings with him. So occasionally when she did, he did not recognise them. She was usually too busy giving to each and every relationship and not really taking care of herself as so many women do. This led her to feel very angry and resentful towards so many individuals close to her. She of course was unaware of feeling this way.

Asma* like so many women in the world, are not taught the importance of self-care and so she developed Crohn’s disease. All her feelings were housed in the gut. Her gut was inflamed because she was not expressing her thoughts and feelings to who she wanted to express them to. It became so inflamed that she could not digest solid foods and had to live on a liquid diet. This sucked the joy from her life. Many of us get joy from food even when there is joy lacking in other areas of our lives. Asma didn’t even have that.

Over the 18 months she worked with me, I facilitated a space where she sat in silence to actually figure out what she was thinking. She thought her feelings you see. I encouraged her to sit in silence regularly. I encouraged her to slow down. I taught her the importance of self-care. By signing onto the laser coaching program, Asma* embarked on the personal alchemy journey where she regularly practiced the 4 S’s sitting in silence, slowing down, simplifying and self-care. I taught these to her checking in between sessions if she did this.

Asma* embarked on the identity alchemy journey where she regularly practiced the 3 E’s excavating what were her true feelings and thoughts, exploring her relationships with each and everyone and started to express them to me and then to herself.

You see Asma had a successful life but it was not a FULFILLED life. She was a workaholic. She was a personal development addict. Before she found me she was continually working on herself by signing onto blogs, email therapy, buying personal development courses that she would not log into. She was flirting around with personal development and trying to deal with the problems in her life but not really dealing with them.

Because really dealing with your problems requires you to trust one soul and dive deep and share your thoughts and feelings with that person. Asma* did that with me at first. Then she was able to do it with her loved ones. After eighteen months of working with me she was no longer on the steroid medication for her Crohn’s disease and was able to eat solid foods. Asma* said to me in the last few sessions she had with me that 7 years before she was eating solid foods and for the last seven years, she had been on a liquid diet. She attributed her physical recovery and her being able to taste and eat solid foods to the coaching she received from me. Together using body scanning and using breath work we were able to identify the tangled energetic knots and untangle each and every one of them. These knots I knew were her unexpressed thoughts and feelings that had built up into knots over the years.

That is why I really believe Quality is more important than Quantity. That is why I prefer to work with a few clients on a one to one basis rather than with many. Working with Asma* on a one to one basis, I was able to dive deep into what was really going on for her. That is why The Spiritual Alchemy Quest is a one to one virtual journey that you take with me. It is virtual as we meet on Zoom. It can take seven months to complete or eighteen months as did Asma*. How fast you complete it is up to you.

If you are interested in going on this journey with me then you need to apply for it. Fill in the form fully and attend an interview on Zoom and if you feel ready and I feel you are ready then the Payment link will be shared with you on the Zoom call. The interview is more of a chat and to find out what kind of personal development courses you have completed before or what kind of therapy you have had before. This is a high ticket purchase so be prepared to pay up to four figures to embark on the journey.

You can apply for The Spiritual Alchemy Quest by clicking this link.

https://calendly.com/contact-3453/application-to-apply-for-the-spiritual-alchemy-quest

Or you can book a Consultation with me to get a taste of The Spiritual Alchemy Quest. A Consultation with me costs £497. The Consultation fee will be taken away from the price of the Spiritual Alchemy Quest if you sign up for it.

To book a consultation click this link.

https://calendly.com/contact-3453/consult

* denotes a fictional name but is a real living person who is willing to talk to you if you are interested in working with Taniya in any capacity.

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