Read on to find out how The Three E’s helped me to find out my Big Why in the last few days and how they can help you.

How do I serve others in the world? This is a very good question for high performing leaders and high performers and high achievers to ask themselves.

So if you have been reading my articles lately or following me on Facebook you would have discovered what the Three E’s are already that help you discover the answer to this question.

The first E is EXPLORATION

This is the activity you do when you undertake this activity of exploring all your relationships with yourself, God/Universe/Spirit/Source, fellow human beings, the plants and animals within you and around you and the air, fire, earth, within you and around you. You do this in a detailed way and you go DEEP into each and every relationship.

This is what I refer to as the identity alchemy journey and it is a process that takes a lifetime but is SUCH a beautiful journey. It results in knowing who you are and how you can make an impact in this world. It results in you understanding how you are meant to serve and who you are meant to serve, even if you thought you knew.

You see our purpose is constantly changing. It is evolving. It is not static.

The second E is EXCAVATION

You see when you explore, your relationships in detail by yourself and also with a Coach, Mentor or Therapist that you trust, this leads to an EXCAVATION of thoughts and feelings buried within you.

If you imagine being an archaeologist looking for treasure in Egypt, examining every tomb for hidden treasures buried by the ancient Egyptians, it is very similar to that process.

The process is time consuming, detailed, financially draining and requires you to go deeper and DEEPER and then one day BOOM, you find the treasure.

You can do this by yourself or with a team. And of course it is faster if you employ a team when it comes to finding ancient Egyptian treasures. However when it comes to unearthing your real thoughts and feelings about what you REALLY want to do and how you really want to serve and who you are really here to serve and who you REALLY want to serve, yes it is possible you can do it by yourself. I am not going to dismiss this fact. All I am going to say is that it just takes so long and by the time you discover your Big Why, your life will probably have ended or you won’t have the physical or mental strength to do all that you need to serve who you really want to or how you really want to.

I know I have said this before but when you discover this and it is usually FASTER when you take this journey with a trusted coach, mentor or consultant or therapist, you start living a FULFILLED life.

In my experience as a social worker I have seen many of the young people I worked with and I have been working with them since 1991, have a fear of success. In my experience as a therapist, I have seen many adults I worked with had a fear of failure. In my experience as an online coach and consultant, having worked with many successful individuals since 2018, many whether they are in business or in the entertainment industry or in politics, have a fear of FULFILLMENT.

To arrive at your destination whether it is a successful venture or FULFILLMENT is SCARY. You tend to ask yourself what next. There is the feeling of boredom. You tend to sabotage the success you have achieved. Or you are tired to enjoy the success?

But when we really connect to what we really THINK we want to do in the world, who we really want to serve, how we really want to serve them, then we become who we really want to be.

And yes when we really connect to what we really FEEL about what we want to do in the world and who we really want to serve and how we really want to serve them, then yes we embody, who we really want to be in the present moment.

Our task becomes easier and effortless and we become more efficient and effective in executing it. The task becomes a labour of love instead of something we feel overwhelmed by or burnt out by. We start attracting others to help us in our task which is usually a mission.

This is the third E which is EXPRESSION

We then start expressing our thoughts and feelings, our REAL thoughts and feelings. Because we have connected to them.

It makes sense, you cannot express something you are not thinking or feeling. You can try and you will succeed partially. Most countries’ education systems are built on encouraging children and young people to express thoughts and feelings that will make them pass exams. Most families function on children thinking and feeling what they think and feel would please their parents or carers.

But to really express what you REALLY think and feel requires courage. Most lack. You though as a high performing leader did not lack this courage that is why you are where you are today. You are highly successful. But this success came at a price, at a cost. The cost was your mental health, physical health  or your marriage or your family life.

However when you find your BIG WHY, you do not care about the cost because, you are willing to sacrifice your life to fulfill your mission. After all this is what LEADERS do. You see you understand your physical and mental health and your marriage and your family life is related to your BIG WHY. It is not separate from it.

Up to now you saw your Big Why in this very individualistic way. However when exploring your relationship, you realise how everything and everyone is so connected whatever our faith, wherever we live. Do you understand what I am saying?

Let me give you a concrete specific example. I am known as The Muslim Achemist and although it is a pompous title, it really just shows that all I am doing here is facilitating a time and space for you to transform and transmute the shit in your life to the GOLD that is waiting for you to experience. This GOLD is health or wealth or love. I am NOT the only Muslim Alchemist. There are many who existed before me and many who still are teaching what I do. However I do know THIS many do not teach it in the relevant twenty first century language that it needs to be taught in. Perhaps I am the only one. I dread to think I am but sometimes it feels this way.

This Ramadan I definitely felt like that. But this Ramadan as I explored my relationship with myself and God and with the Muhammad in the Qur’an and Jesus and Mary and Joseph and my husband and my sons and Abraham etc and my clients and my managers and the earth, fire, water and air within me and the plants and animals within me and around me, I discovered this. No one else is going to say what I really want to say. Because no one else has joined the dots like I have to what is happening in Gaza, Kashmir, Ukraine, Turkey, India, Afghanistan to what is happening in Europe US, UK etc.

Yes I have this identity as a writer hence I write these blogs. I always wanted to be a published writer. I have ended up publishing myself. Yes it’s on a website not the way I dreamt it would be i e  hard back or paper back copies of my thoughts and feelings in millions of bookshelves across the world. But that doesn’t mean that will not occur one day too? I know I need to pace myself. Rome was not built in a day.  Maybe that is why I discovered Paceology? But that is an article for another day. I do know this. Dreams don’t always work out to be true the way you envisaged. Yet I still have a dream of my thoughts and feelings reaching many individuals. My real thoughts and feelings and inspiring others.

And this is the Big Why I discovered this Ramadan. I found out how much I want to just write and be this writer, God also wants me to write and in becoming this entrepreneur gives me the opportunity to write and reach many individuals.

I have a Facebook Page called The Writer. And these days I am inclined to post more on the Page. Maybe I will. All I can say to you the more I explore the Three E’s, the more I accept that I am different identities. I am not just one identity. I am a social worker, a mum, a wife, a writer, a coach,  a consultant,  a therapist, a sister, a spiritual guide and a healer.

Sometimes the online space and the professional world tries to push us into a box but we are not pieces of wood to fit into a box. We are human beings. We have souls that refuse to be boxed in.

Our souls want to be FREE. We want to FLOW Yet others keep trying to put us in our place. Label us. Say we cannot do this or have to do it this way. We are constantly told we cannot say what we really think and feel. And sometimes we succumb to these voices. We are afraid of alienating our customers, audience, fan base, funders, followers, team, family and friends etc.

This Ramadan I really connected to what I really think and feel and I found I was very frustrated during the Eid prayer.

The Imam who calls himself a Sheikh spoke out against the festivities of Chand Raat. This is the festivities of henna painting and partying that goes on as the moon is sighted marking the end of Ramadan and the start of the New Islamic month Shawwal. In South Asia, Pakistan, India and Bangladesh, families descend the shops and restaurants and celebrate that Eid is here. He didn’t say Chand Raat is haram but that he heard there was fighting in South London.

I was in South London for Chand Raat and I witnessed many young men and some boys teenagers trying to fire each other up.  Chants were yelled and I knew many were carrying knives. Other family members saw some had cricket bats. As a social worker I am very familiar with many young people and adults carrying knives and increasing serious youth violence increasing in South London actually across the whole of London. Usually on Chand Raat there is a police presence. This Chand Raat the Police arrived at 1130.

The Sheikh failed to address this in his sermon. He failed to address the context and cause of the fighting. I listened to his sermon and for me what struck me was his translation of Ibadah the,  Arabic word which actually means Service. He translated it as worship. He kept going on  about prayer and fasting. He neglected to  talk about Service to others.

Now whilst for me prayer and fasting is Service to God and these acts serve me too. However by themselves they do not serve others.  Yes you can pray for others and fasting can lead you to be more intuitive. But by themselves, they don’t serve humanity and it led me to think that a high performing leader is one who is in touch with his or her community, who speaks their language and understands their needs.

A high performing leader serves their community from the heart or as the Bible says with one’s whole heart, mind and soul.

I found this Sheikh did not seem to understand his South London community. He painted it as a community which is rich, stable, secure and not in need of anything.

Whilst we in South London are safer than those in Gaza and Kashmir, some of us are experiencing a cost of living crisis, a National Health Service crisis and climate change, depression and anxiety and burnout and a knife crime epidemic and a prison crisis. I really wanted to say this to this Sheikh. Instead I thought no I am not going to waste my energy. I am going to say it to you. Reader, Friend, Supporter who I feel are also a high achiever like me. I know you feel you don’t know your big why and even if you do, but feel you will not be able to achieve it in your lifetime. I want you to carry on doing all that you are doing.

Because your big why is evolving. Trust me it is. The Three E’s will uncover it for you if you have not discovered your big why yet. And remember it is the questions you ask yourself that lead to the answers. The Questions are usually MORE important than the answers as they lead to the answers.

I hope by reading this article you will feel motivated to embark on the identity alchemy journey and find the GOLD within you and around you.

#identityalchemyjourney

#paceology

#themuslimalchemist