As a High Performing Leader seeking FULFILLMENT, FLOW and FREEDOM, you have read the articles I have previously written about The Four S’s which lead to NAMING the problem, your actual problem, the underlying problem not the presenting problem. The Four S’s are Simplify, Slow Down, Self-care and Sitting in Silence. You have read the articles about The Three E’s which lead to you ACCEPTING the problem in your life. The Three E’s are

1.Exploring your relationships

2. EXCAVATION of your real thoughts and feelings

3. Expressing your real thoughts and feelings to yourself and to those that are important in your life

I refer to the time in your life that you practice the Four S’s as The Personal Alchemy Journey.

I refer to the time in your life that you practice the Three E’s as The Identity Alchemy Journey.

In this article I will be talking about the time in your life called The Practical Alchemy Journey and where you practice The Four B’s which are

1. Building a sanctuary

2. Bucket list

3. Building flexible and healthy boundaries

4. Breathing

The Four B’s lead to you CLAIMING a time and space for yourself to reassess your life, your priorities, your passions and your purpose.

Every High Performing LEADER who yearns for FULFILLMENT, FREEDOM or FLOW will find they embark on this journey by themselves or with someone like me, a mentor, coach, spiritual guide or therapist.

If they do not they will find that they are unfulfilled, caged or stuck for the rest of their lives.

I am sure you have met such individuals.

However you are not one of them.

You yearn for a fulfilled life, a life full of flow and a life where you feel free to do what you want to do, be who you want to be and you don’t want to be caged in this version of success or this success…. hamster wheel.

Yes you have achieved the success that you aspired to.

You are this successful actor/director/author/playwright/banker/entrepreneur/doctor/nurse/social worker/musician/social worker/politician/dancer/model

You have the fame and the fortune or you just have the fortune but you still feel empty and you don’t know why.

Embarking on the practical alchemy journey and building a sanctuary for yourself where you can retreat into to explore what you want to do in life, REALLY want to do can be so useful.

This doesn’t have to be an expensive retreat you pay for and travel to.

The sanctuary can be built inside your house, in your bedroom or your office or in your calendar where you explore by indulging in your bucket list.

You know what I mean by a bucket list yes?

Where you do all the things you wanted to do before you die and you go all the places you wanted to travel to before you die and you meet all the individuals you wanted to meet before you die.

I refer to the practical alchemy journey as practical because it means making practical changes in your life. It means building the sanctuary physically literally in some circumstances. Taking a room in your house and devoting that room just for yourself. Not allowing anyone in that room.

Or devoting a time in your calendar or a day in your week, this sanctuary can be built too where you do what you want to do, see who you want to see and actually experience some of your bucket list. Jews build a sanctuary every week as so seven days adventists who devote the day to God.

While I really advocate having a day in your week where you rest, do not check emails, go offline, and spend not working, in my personal experience, you attain FREEDOM, FULFILLMENT and FREEDOM FASTER when you build a physical sanctuary in your home. A cave you can retreat to, to sit in silence and really ask that dreaded and difficult question what do you REALLY want?

If you think about all the famous High Performing LEADERS did this and have done this. Muhammed in the seventh century used to do this walk to the cave of hira and in Ramadan which was the month of heat, spend days in the cave meditating.  Jesus spent forty days in the wilderness. Moses spent several years in Midian. Writers wanting inspiration for their music or books did this. The famous musician from Brooklyn Neil Diamond had a couple of years off in his music career not performing live  but when he returned after being in therapy, he wrote some of his best songs and found his passion for performing live again.  Unfortunately High Performing LEADERS in the twentieth century and twenty first century don’t often do this often and usually do it in rehab facilities because they needed to due to their alcoholism.

If you are like me and are accepting of the fact that you are a workalcholic, because most high performing leaders and high performers and high achievers are, then can you see my case for building a sanctuary in your house or office or garage or garden.

This is your rehab centre for the workaholic.

A self made rehab centre.

See what I am not advocating here is NOT that you go on some expensive retreat.

Why?

Because I know that some of these retreats feed on your other addiction of being a personal development addict and you will end up working on yourself.

You will probably end up trying the variety of remedies and modalities available at the retreat and listening to a bunch of individuals…… all well meaning I am sure..,. but you will not ask that dreaded and difficult question.

What do you REALLY  want?

Or in your case it will be these words you will not say to yourself

“What do I really want?”

You see this question needs to be done by yourself in the stillness and silence of the sanctuary.

You cannot do it with anyone else.

It needs to be done alone.

Without the pressure of another soul.

Yes you can feedback what answers come up to your mentor, coach, therapist, etc but the exercise needs to at first be done by yourself.

I find whilst these retreats are useful the distraction of others means that you don’t ask that question. You procrastinate and being that alcoholic or workalcholic or both you delay asking that question until you return home but then at home you then bury yourself with work. During the retreat you immerse yourself in the activities that are available.

That is why I advocate building  a private room in your house or garage or garden or office.

The Sanctuary..

I call it that because it will feel like that once you build it

Most of my private clients have done this and it really helped them claim some time and space from their busy lives and enabled them to make some difficult decisions.

If you can combine the building of the sanctuary with taking time off from your job or business, then I thoroughly recommend that you do this too.

Imagine having a room to go to where you can indulge in whatever you want to do without any interruptions.

You decide who enters and who does not.

I actually advise you not to allow anyone to enter let it be your haven, your secret cave, your den.

Imagine it as building a cocoon like a caterpillar builds because this is the sanctuary that will witness your metamorphosis.

The room will witness your TRANSFORMATION

When you build the sanctuary, some words of advice

Don’t clutter it with too many books, magazines and your things to do list.

Fill the room with books you always wanted to read but didn’t have the time

Fill the room with clothes you always wanted to wear.

Fill the room with snacks you always wanted to eat.

Download some films on your phone you always wanted to watch and watch them in that Room

Take a yoga mat and practice some yoga.

Have a place to wash and bathe and shower and a toilet near the room or make sure there is an ensuite bathroom next to the room in the house, office, garden etc

If the room can have a kitchen attached even better but it is not necessary.

In some ways you will be practicing the Three E’s in earnestness when you are in the sanctuary.

And so I would recommend that you take with you in the room many blank notebooks.

I want you to write yes handwrite notes in the notebooks of all the answers that come up from the question what do you really want and as you explore all your relationships record the thoughts and feelings that are excavated.

There is a fourth B that is practiced in the Sanctuary which is breathing.

Breathing in for three seconds.

Holding the breath for four seconds.

Breathing out for five seconds.

This breathing technique really calms you down even when you are going through a stressful time.

Because excavating  your real thoughts and feelings and expressing them to those close to you will lead you to be stressed.

Your mask that you plastered so tightly is coming off and that will lead those close to, accuse you of betraying them, becoming aggressive, saying you are being aggressive when you are not.

You are actually being yourself for the first time in your life.

Yes The Four B’s lead you to claim time for yourself and claim space for yourself which you always wanted to but never could.

Or didn’t allow yourself to?

And taking the mask off will enable you not to feel caged but FREE to be yourself and this will lead you to FLOW and indulging in your bucket list will lead you to feel a sense of FULFILLMENT like you have never felt before.

This is what happened to me between October and November 2017 and what has happened to many of my clients that have hired me

They like me embarked on The Practical Alchemy Journey.

Liz* did.

Asma* did

Zara* did

They have never been the same again

They discovered they imprisoned themselves by denying themselves what they REALLY wanted

And embarking on the journey led them to discover what they actually wanted.

You can embark on this journey by yourself and find out what you really want or you can hire me or someone like me.

It takes longer when you do it by yourself.

It is possible but with a guide by your side, it is much more enjoyable.

That’s why I refer to all these four journeys as The Spiritual Alchemy Quest.

Remember a quest is an adventure and adventures are much more enjoyable when you have someone to share them with.

The highs.

The lows.

The good.

The bad.

The ugly.

I embarked on the spiritual alchemy quest by myself.

You don’t have to.

When you are ready to embark on the adventure of a lifetime. The one that will transform you from being totally unrecognisable to those around you.

You will get strangers coming up to you asking why your skin is glowing because that is what building a sanctuary and indulging in your bucket list does for you.

That is what happened to me

That is what will happen to you

Are you READY?

*means a fictional name but a real living person who wants to remain anonymous. I run a private and confidential service some of my clients are well known in the online space, or in the entertainment industry or in their own communities

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