I have written extensively on the importance of SELF-CARE. This is a lifestyle by the way not an activity. Women especially are very bad at adopting this lifestyle but some men are too and some transgender individuals are too. Especially if you have experienced trauma in your childhood or adolescence or you are experiencing it right now in your relationships whether that is in your romantic or sexual relationships or even in your work relationships, self care is the first thing that many individuals abandon.

It is not easy to learn or do with the nagging self critical voice inside your head which is of an abusive parent or care giver or of your partner.

That is why simplifying your life and slowing down are the first steps that lead you to adopt the lifestyle of SELF CARE.

That is why sitting in silence leads you to slow down.

Of course sitting in silence you find hard to do because you have spent most of your life working hard, working really hard in building that business or nurturing that family or investing in a relationship or building that career.

Sitting in silence is difficult because it means you have to face the reality of the past. It means you have to face the reality of the present.

You would rather numb yourself with work and more work than face those feelings.

However when you face those feelings and FEEL those feelings that is when you really and profoundly GROW.

Psychic pain sometimes feels worse than physical pain. However like any pain it comes and goes. Pain needs to be felt. Pain is the fire that purifies some one wise told me that.

When you feel the pain of your past or even the pain of your current situation is when you can AWAKEN from the drunkenness of doing and doing and more doing.

You awake to BE.

You become that human being you are meant to be in this life not this human doing.

So many are familiar with alcohol addiction to numb the pain of trauma.

So many are familiar with drug addiction or food addiction or sex addiction to numb psychic pain which is felt by the soul and heart, and DEEP in the gut.

Very few of us talk about or are familiar with work addiction to numb the pain we are feeling or to distract us from the trauma we are experiencing.

So many of us are addicted to work but out of all the addictions workaholism and personal development addiction are the most celebrated by the public.

We live in societies that actually see Workaholism as a noble addiction.

Workaholism is championed and not seen as an addiction.

However it is the most respectable of addictions. It has the least stigma attached to it..

Yet the effect of workaholism is just as devastating as the others.

So many alcoholics become workaholics and personal development addicts.

Slowing down and Simplifying and Sitting in Silence makes you aware of your Workaholism.

These activities WAKE you up to how you need to invest in self care.

You see your lifestyle as this fast paced life that you cannot afford to slow down.

However it is only when you slow down do you face the harsh reality of your situation.

Slowing down is like taking the red pill.

And this is what Morpheus said about the red pill and blue pill.

The words below are not mine but found on the internet recently by me.

“Morpheus’ famous lines in The Matrix about the blue pill and the red pill are emblematic of a much deeper and more profound choice that each individual faces in life—the choice between comfortable ignorance and the often unsettling truth. When Morpheus offers Neo the choice between the blue pill and the red pill, he is not just offering two simple objects but two radically different paths of existence.

Morpheus’ Words on the Blue Pill
Morpheus says to Neo:
“You take the blue pill—the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill—you stay in Wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.”
This moment is pivotal because it encapsulates the essence of the human condition: the choice between remaining within the confines of an illusory world, one that is comfortable, familiar, and seemingly safe, or daring to venture into the unknown, where truth, no matter how harsh or challenging, awaits.
The Profound Significance of the Blue Pill
The blue pill symbolizes a choice to remain within the matrix of illusions—a construct of lies, half-truths, and deceptions that create a false sense of security. Those who choose the blue pill willingly accept the reality presented to them, preferring the comfort of ignorance over the potential discomfort of truth. The blue pill represents:
Comfort Over Truth: The blue pill offers a life free from the pain of questioning, of challenging the status quo. It allows one to continue living in a bubble, where difficult truths are avoided, and uncomfortable realities are dismissed. It is the easier path, one where cognitive dissonance is minimized, and the individual can remain in a state of blissful unawareness.
Submission to the Illusion: Taking the blue pill is a form of surrender. It is an acceptance of the narratives imposed by external forces, whether they be societal norms, media influences, or political agendas. It signifies a relinquishing of one’s autonomy and a submission to the control of those who construct the illusion.
A Rejection of Growth: Choosing the blue pill is also a rejection of personal and spiritual growth. Growth often comes through facing challenges, through questioning the world around us, and through embracing the unknown. The blue pill, in contrast, is a rejection of this journey—a refusal to grow, to evolve, and to seek a deeper understanding of existence.
Fear of the Unknown: The decision to take the blue pill is often driven by fear—the fear of what lies beyond the veil of illusion. The fear of facing a reality that might be harsh, unforgiving, or profoundly different from the comfortable narrative that has been constructed. This fear paralyzes the individual, keeping them locked in a state of complacency.
Those Who Choose the Blue Pill
Individuals who choose the blue pill are often those who are content with the surface level of life. They may fear the disruption of their worldview or the consequences of challenging deeply held beliefs. These individuals may:
Cling to Familiarity: They are drawn to the safety of what is known, what is predictable. They prefer the comfort of routine and the reassurance of societal validation over the uncertainty that comes with questioning the nature of reality.
Avoid Responsibility: The blue pill represents an avoidance of the responsibility that comes with knowledge. To see the world as it truly is requires action, it demands a response. Those who choose the blue pill are often unwilling to take on this responsibility, preferring instead to remain passive observers of life.
Live Within Boundaries: The blue pill takers live within the confines of the system, accepting the limitations imposed upon them. They do not seek to transcend these boundaries, nor do they wish to explore what lies beyond. Their lives are characterized by conformity and adherence to the prescribed narratives.
Reject the Call to Awakening: The choice of the blue pill is a rejection of the call to awakening. It is a refusal to engage in the journey of self-discovery, to explore the deeper mysteries of life, and to seek a higher truth. It is a denial of the spiritual quest that leads to enlightenment.
The Deeper Implications
The choice between the blue pill and the red pill is not just a fictional concept; it is a metaphor for the choices we all face in our lives. Do we choose to remain asleep, accepting the comforting lies that we are fed, or do we awaken to the sometimes harsh, yet liberating truth?
In Hermetic philosophy, this choice is akin to the decision to remain bound by the material world, with its illusions and distractions, or to seek the divine truth, which lies beyond the veil of appearances. The blue pill is the path of ignorance, leading to a life lived on the surface, where one is controlled by external forces and never truly knows themselves or the world.
For those who choose the blue pill, life may seem easier, but it is a life lived in shadows, a life where the true light of understanding never penetrates. It is a life of perpetual sleepwalking, where the deeper mysteries of existence remain forever hidden, and where the soul remains trapped in the prison of the matrix.
In conclusion, the blue pill represents more than just a simple choice—it symbolizes the decision to remain in darkness, to accept the illusion, and to reject the profound truth that lies beyond. It is a decision that many make, whether consciously or unconsciously, every day. Yet, for those who dare to take the red pill, who choose to awaken and see the world as it truly is, a path of profound discovery and liberation awaits. The choice is always ours, and in that choice lies the power to shape our reality.”

Now what pill would you choose to swallow?

Blue or Red?

Did you love this article?
Did it really resonate with you?
I got a feeling it really did because you finally found someone who understands you.
Who can see through the bullshit lies that you are telling yourself and have been telling yourself for days, weeks, months, years or even decades.
It is ok I told myself lies for decades until I woke up to my workaholism and personal development addiction back in August 2017.
Work and personal development are so idolized in this society as opposed to drug addiction or alcohol addiction or sex addiction. These latter three are obvious villains but working is championed by so many societies these days in the 21st Century and working on your own self is a multi billion dollar industry.

However self-help can only help you to a certain extent and while it is important to have time sitting with yourself and sitting in silence, we are no longer islands. We are social beings and we live in communities whether that is offline or online or both.

Many Religious and Spiritual Traditions that are centuries old actually teach that you have all the answers within you. If you ONLY look within to find them.
This is totally contrary to the New Age Spirituality movement taught that teaches you that you need to do this or this to heal.
Most religious traditions teach you come into the world whole and complete.
However sadly we forget this and that is why it is important to UNLEARN all we have been taught and much of what we see online and in modern psychology.

This unlearning requires investing in a reflective space with a professional or a set of professionals. Amongst social work and therapy circles this is very common and is called reflective practice or supervision and whilst many do this to understand what is going on for their clients, in my experience so many do not do this for themselves just for themselves. This applies to many innovative change makers and visionary entrepreneurs, high performing leaders, high achievers and high performers actually are very discerning when hiring progressional help for their teams, children, family dog friends but not for themselves.
However in this day and age when you are bombarded with so much information and scams are on the increase to be discerning for yourself and hire someone for yourself takes time. You want to trust who you are hiring.
As a leader leading others like you are I know you need the time to select a consultant, coach, healer or therapist.
You want someone competent but also highly skilled like yourself.
I totally understand this especially in the online world there are many who claim to be skilled in a certain area but this cannot be substantiated.
I also know it feels too good to be true that you have found me a consultant, therapist, coach, spiritual guide and healer all in one.

However in all honesty I also know it does not matter how I describe myself, what matters to you is not my identity and my qualifications and certifications but how QUICKLY I can facilitate the transformation for you from point A to point B.

And you want the transformation yesterday am I correct?

Whilst it is impossible for me to facilitate the transformation yesterday, I can facilitate these more quickly than my competitors.

What takes others minutes takes me seconds.

What takes others hours takes me minutes.
What takes others days takes me hours.
What takes others weeks takes me days.
What takes others months takes me weeks.
What takes others years takes me months.
What takes others decades takes me years.


I brand myself as The Muslim Alchemist not to be pompous and arrogant and because it looks and sounds cool.
It is as one of my coaches told me because I am The Muslim Alchemist.
Being a practicing social worker for over thirty years in London UK, I know how to use what little resources I have to provide opportunity and hope. Even when loaded with the shit and shitty situations my social work clients face, I have seen them transform the situation they are in to a better situation for themselves and their family. I have been doing this for three decades.
Alchemy by the way is transforming the base into GOLD.
It comes from the Arabic word Al Chemy. The Arabs discovered the ancient practice of the Ancient Egyptians from Alexandria who found a way of turning base metals into Gold. From alchemy came chemistry and other sciences.
Social workers are modern day alchemists. Together with my over thirty  years of working with countless individuals and these are adults and children and teenagers including parents and professionals plus working therapeutically using my psychodynamic and Sufi training, there have been so many times I have literally seen individuals turn the shit of their lives into golden successful ones.

Additionally my lived experience of being a parent for over two decades to three sons, and having a middle son who has been diagnosed with Developmental Language Disorder in 2013 which is a special education need more common than autism means also much more to you than all the certifications I have.

You trust that I will understand and overstand due to the lived experience and have the empathy you have been seeking. You have been craving for this.

In addition you are astounded by the fact that I have been married for three decades, You know from your own experience of relationships or having friends with lengthy relationships that there’s the good and the bad and the ugly involved when being with one person for so long. So not ONLY do I come with extensive experience of the human condition by working with others but immense wisdom that you can tap into should you choose to do so.
We live in an age where divorce is very common and having studied Islam Judaism and Christianity with Imams, Rabbis and Pastors since 1993, you will find when it comes to relationships counselling and coaching, I offer a non judgemental service but also based on traditional religious and spiritual traditions and wisdom.

It is no surprise then that it is THE REFLECTIVE SPACE that I offer you because of my extensive experience.
The Reflective Space can be experienced  a one off consultation called The Reflective Space Consultation or as part of a virtual adventure where we meet regularly on Zoom for seven months. The Reflective Space Adventure facilitates profound and RAPID transformations in your health, wealth or relationships.
So many clients have undertaken this adventure ever since I started my business in 2018.
Some just completed the personal alchemy journey.
Others both the personal and identity alchemy journey.
Some have completed all three journeys in the Adventure.
These being the personal, identify and practical.
What use is an adventure if it doesn’t provide you practical skills you can use everyday?
So much personal development ends up in you becoming dependant on a coach or therapist.
I don’t believe in fostering that kind of dependence.
Some of my clients have rehired me but usually for an entirely different problem.
Finally to complete the adventure and it really is as we explore your life and if you have your business in depth that you have never explored before, there is the emotional alchemy journey.
To transmute all the repressed feelings inside of you, it is important to FEEL the feelings. Sometimes these feelings and facing them, means hearing thoughts that are painful and it means smelling the shit inside of you. This requires skill and years of experience. However, especially if you have buried these deep inside, excavating and exploring these feelings requires careful handling. Doing it with another human being who understands how painful emotional pain and psychic pain feels sometimes more so than physical pain can be very liberating and NURTURING. That other human being is me. Remember most of my life I refused to feel the pain burying myself in social work and being there for my children and husband until I slowed down in August 2017.
The emotional alchemy journey is the hardest journey to take especially when you have numbed yourself with work and achieving most of your life. You have distracted yourself with becoming successful to deal with pain from the past and in some cases the pain from the present.


However when you have invested in a professional who understands that there comes a time in your life when you can no longer do this, this feels so peaceful.
You feel you can finally rest it is like finding a friend who understands.

I sincerely would love to be that friend.

This can be possible whether it is by you A) Watching The Reflective Space Masterclass Collection and purchasing the ONLY digital product I sell and the ONLY SELF HELP offer I have. There is something for most in this collection. Whether you want to become a more successful entrepreneur or someone who wants to reweave your life story or want to write your own story, these Masterclasses can be watched in your own time. To purchase this collection you can fill in the contact form on this website and I will send you the payment link
Or by
B) Booking The Reflective Space Consultation which lasts 90 minutes and actually gives you a diagnosis to your life long pattern that makes you understand your workaholism and personal development addiction. Imagine in 90 minutes you understand why you act the way you do and how you are sabotaging living a fulfilled life. You are already successful the whole world tells you that but in 90 minutes I can tell you the underlying cause of your problems. I did this with Davina* who had sleep issues and was able to tell her her insomnia was because she was trying to prove to herself she was good enough. She was adopted and when she met her birth parents discovered they loved her for her but she met them much later in her life as an adult with a family. She still felt she had to carry on working to live although this limiting belief meant she couldn’t relax. Most coaches see take you at face value thinking you know your presenting problem. I don’t I dig deep and uncover the underlying problem. When you know the underlying problem you can then easily find the solutions to the problem.  You can book a session using the contact form on the website and I will email you back how to book a one off consultation.
Or by
C)  Embarking on The Reflective Space Adventure which lasts 7 months which is a One to one Virtual experience.

Or D) by purchasing The Reflective Space Sessions These are a package of sessions for 3 months or 6 months or 9 months or 18 months where you can receive transformational coaching where the complex trauma you have experienced in your life is transmuted into GOLD whether that is Emotional Gold, Physical GOLD, Psychological GOLD, Spiritual GOLD or Financial GOLD. Trauma is the Training Ground for Leadership. You as a leader have experienced that. You have got here where you are by experiencing adversity. But now it is time to lead yourself to have a life of FLOW, FREEDOM and FULFILLMENT.
It is your time now you have given so much to others.

The Reflective Space Sessions can also be purchased just as a package of eight sessions where you can learn all about the Light and the Shadow Archetypes. These sessions is what lead to my client Liz* to attain an amicable divorce saving her so much money because it could have easily have become a messy expensive divorce because her husband moved back in when she announced the separation causing so much tension. These sessions led my client Zahra* to have a much better relationship with herself and she birthed another business. She got so much energy by learning the Four S’s sitting in silence, slowing down, simplifying and self care. Before booking these sessions which took place over ten months, she used her spare time which was very little obsessing over her husband and how he treated her. The sessions made her realise she needed space from him as they worked in a real estate business together.


Or by E) You join The Reflective Space Membership where you can take advantage of drop in sessions every first Friday of the month and every last Friday of the month. This is for you if you are a Coach, Healer, Therapist or Visionary Entrepreneur that doesn’t mind exploring with others who will turn up what is going well for you, what you need to change and what you are worried about.

Or  finally via F) by you booking  The Reflective Space Retreat with me.
You will then experience a half a day in person at a Top Venue in Central London or you can experience a half day virtually. This can be a Healing session where I untangle energetic knots in your body or just a space where you learn all about your Human Design. You will experience a VIP service where you leave having a better relationship with yourself.
Again you can book this by filling in the contact form on this website.

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Remember it is possible to transform if you travel the road less travelled by yourself but it takes SO long.

Remember you don’t have to travel by yourself now you are awake and wanting that fulfilled life.

The journey takes far less time when you have a friend to travel with you

If you are like me and want it yesterday but don’t know which of my services are best for you can book a FREE 15 minutes consultation on Zoom using this link here.

https://calendly.com/contact-3453/15min

*Means fictional name but a real person who wishes to remain anonymous. I offer a private and confidential service as many of my clients are well known in the online space and or entertainment industry or in their own communities.